Thursday, May 7, 2009

08 May 09
Friday
Warm-up
PVC Pipe Olympic Lifting Warm-up x 3
Back Squats up to working sets
Back Squats 5,4,3,2,1 reps (2-3 minutes rest between sets, progress with each set, last set do 1 or more)

Rest 3 minutes

4 Rounds for time:
5 rope climbs
25 squat jumps (for a demonstration see the link below, for the squat jump to count the athlete must come at least 3 to 6 inches off the ground)
http://www.aceathlete.com/hatch/video.htm
The video is the last video under Extra titled PLYOMETRIC DRILLS

Finish with 10 minutes of stretching

Cupcakes Skinny Stripper Quest

Miss Cupcake I’ll do my best to advise you on your quest for having that Skinny Stripper appearance. To be honest my first thought was to advise you to develop a nasty crack habit, but I didn’t think that would go over to well. And you should know upfront I am by no means an expert in nutrition so take what I say under consideration very carefully. I am by trade a professional planner for the destruction of living organisms and the breaking of inanimate objects. So what I’m going to give you is a planning tool to help find your answer. In order to find answers to perplexing problems I often use a technique that I call “the antithesis effect” or fancy word for the opposite effect. So in your case planners would normally define the problem as “What do I need to do to get Stripper Skinny?” But I’m a weirdo so I would define the problem as “What do I need to do to become the ultimate Fat Hawg for drunk, dull, and generally unappealing men to slay on Friday nights at the club?” Then I would devise a list of questions to answer that problem, for example: 1. “Would I weigh and measure everything I eat?” 2. What foods will give the most bang for the buck in my quest for Super Sizedom? 3. How many times a day would I need to eat to make myself hypersensitive to insulin? 4. Where will most of my carbohydrates come from fruits and vegetables or processed food like rice or potatoes? 5. Would I prefer sweet tea or water? 6. Would I avoid all physical activity like the plaque? 7. Would I sleep 4 hours or 8 hours? I’m sure by now you get the drift, but to be sure let’s answer the questions so we can fulfill our dream of “Baby’s got serious back”.

Weigh and measure? Of course not, our measurement will always be the same, P for plenty.

Bang for the buck? Fast foods, cheap, processed, and you can Super Size

Number of meals? The number of meals should not matter, but a nagging feeling of discomfort from always having a full stomach should be the goal. So everytime you think about it, make food your stress reliever.

Carbs? Rice and Potatoes will drive your insulin to the roof, and since our bodies are designed for survival and not performance this will work in your favor for storing fat. Insulin was designed by the Almighty to turn food into fat because you never know when a famine will strike.

Sweet Tea or water? Sweet tea obviously since it has sugar, which again will activate the hormone insulin.

Activity? Who’s every seen a real active fat guy.

Sleep? Less is better for gaining fat, so sit up all night eating bon bon watching reruns of Dr. House.
I’m sure you can come up with a few questions yourself for the quest, once you have the answers for getting fat, you’ll have the answers for getting “Stripper Skinny”

4 comments:

Unknown said...

Okay, I need to join the "Quest for Stripper Skinny" group immediately upon my return. (Although watching House all night really does sound fun, so I'm kind of bummed that that's probably not part of the 12 step program.)
Ugh, I miss seeing everyone! Big horse show this weekend, but I may make it in Monday before I duck out to the beach for a few days, and then I'm going to try to get back into the swing of things (albeit my newly moderated swing of things). GNC, you should be happy to know that my spine isn't nearly so wiggly due to all my therapy exercises, so once I really am able to lift things again, I shouldn't be such a safety hazard!

Have a great weekend everyone!

W

Anonymous said...

Becca!!!! You suck!!! :) kidding, btw. I just miss you...i'm about to convert to the 6am class! Today was good...i like the rope climbing, so that worked out to my advantage, but it definately smoked me! my BS was 165# which is another PR for me...i seem to be getting a lot of those lately! and then i think i did my WOD in about 16 something. i am terrible with remembering my time. See everyone in a few weeks! Driving to VT with a two year old!!! ugh. don't worry...i have benadryl in tow! :) kidding (or am i?)
linds

Anonymous said...

By the way, I accidentally posted my reply to Mike's stripper skinny advice on yesterday's entry for those of you interested or not so interested in my quest... Mike!
cupcake!

Anonymous said...

Wendy,
I also suffer from lack of "junk" so i get ya girl! Good luck...i myself will continue on my quest to be jacked without actually giving up candy. :) i'm bored at work with no cell phone signal to distract me...so you guys are amusing me today! Thanks
linds